You just made me feel so damn special
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
dude. I can hear the air.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
