bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Found your dick twin last night
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize