Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Randomize
