when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Randomize
