who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
