Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I have feelings that need drinking.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
