I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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