shes about as inviting as chlamydia
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
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