Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
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