We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
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