But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Randomize
