Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Two words: blizzard sex
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
