I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
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