I'm laying in your front yard are you home
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Randomize
