He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
