i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I can't turn off my feet"
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
