on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
