Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
