So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
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