Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Randomize
