I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
