The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
