She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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