i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
it's great music for shaving your balls
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
The feeling are messing with the penis
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
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