just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
It's rum buckets o'clock
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
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