Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
