actually, I'm a sock model
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
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