you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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