If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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