I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
