He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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