Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Randomize