Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
