i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
