well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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