I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
