And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
