This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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