You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
