honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Randomize
