well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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