Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
