grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Randomize
