piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Randomize
