tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
