barbara walters just said penis...
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
