My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Just high enough for therapy.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Randomize
