Just mADE A PArabola og urine
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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