Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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