If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
