She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
A bitchslap is in order.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
