We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Randomize
